There’s Always Later!: A Tale of a Procrastinating Writer

**WARNING**

If you have to get ANYTHING done today DO NOT READ THIS ENTRY.
Pay your bills, write your words, call your mom and bathe THEN read this entry.

Don’t worry, I’ll wait.

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Seriously, you’re gonna regret not having clean clothes

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No, really, make sure there’s food for dinner

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READY? OKAY!

Procrastination, you slippery temptress, you.  It’s amazing how you can make literally EVERYTHING more appealing.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it’s been kinda like this around here:

And I blame you, internets.

The internet and procrastination are in cahoots with one another.  I think they get together and laugh about how much time they are capable of sucking away from a person’s day.

I think their conversations go a little like this:

Izzy Internet: What up!

Porche-Crastination: Totally made this guy later for a deadline today

Izzy Internet: No way!  I convinced this girl that it was more important to look at cute kitties than do her homework.  Couldn’t have done it without you!

Porche-Crastination: Couldn’t have done it without YOU!

Izzy-Internet: I know it! ::high fives::

That’s kind of what happened to me.  A lot of life lessons were learned.  There was sometimes laughter, sometimes tears, and sometimes there was even a nice underscore of canned music that made me feel like I was on a reality tv show.

But there was definitely no writing.

Below is a list of things I learned during the time I wasn’t writing.  It’s all right to be impressed. I know I am not.

Getting Inspiration

aka StumbleUpon.com.

The Argument:

It’s too cold to go outside, so I convince myself if I continually click the StumbleUpon button in a controlled manner, I will surely receive the proper amount of inspiration that will help me write my blog  get all my writing projects done.

The Reality

That’s not gonna happen.

A picture of this tiger, while epic, is not that inspiring for your project about nightmares on the subway. It’s kind of the opposite.

Also, sometimes it sends me to links like this  and then I get kinda paranoid because I’m pretty sure I’ll never be allowed to step foot in North Dakota again.

I discovered something, though.  There’s a reason their logo looks the way it does. 

Bee tee dubs, guys, if you have a stumbleupon account and wanted to, I dunno, Like this blog so that people can be schooled about the dangers of using stumbleupon, I think that would be the opposite of procrastination.

The Art of Communication

aka Twitter.

The Argument:

Language is hard, yo.  It’s like madd difficult to express words to one another. Which is why I tell myself I need to be on twitter ALL THE TIME (@RegectedRiter, all, Follow me!).  If I wasn’t on, how would I ever learn how to communicate effectively with other people?  By conversing with them on the street?

I don’t think so.

The Reality:

He looks so innocent.
It’s that adorable innocence that drags you in.  And then pretty soon you’re caught up in three conversations at once about Zombies, Writing and  coffee vs. tea.  And then everything you write is like this:

@pr0crastiNation What’s up! #TodayIDidn’tDoAnything

@RegectedRiter #LOL I totally know #PWNED!

@pr0crastiNation I don’t appreciate that #NotAmused

@RegectedRiter Watevs, click this awesome link and lose hours of your life

@pr0crastiNation Sorry for the late reply, I just spent ten hours reading articles about #DisneyMovies #MyLife

The Art of Networking

aka facebook.com

The Argument:

Imma just step onto here for like five minutes to write an important work related message on my friend’s wall. I am positive that the networking will provide invaluable opportunities

The Reality:

Three hours later, you are in a bejewelled blitz coma, knee deep in a debate about the latest semi-political anything that you didn’t really care about before you saw a post. Drool might be happening.

For those of you who don’t know what Bewjeweled Blitz is, it’s a little game that looks a little something like this:

Well, that’s the end of the post.  I really have nothing more to say.  Hopefully you haven’t gotten sucked into the etherworld of the internet and were able to stay with me to the bitter end, but I’ll understand if you went to youtube.

So, what’s your favorite way to procrastinate? I wants to know!

Also, don’t be afraid of clicking the links, I promise nothing offensive will pop up.  Unless you’re offended by laughter, then maybe you should just not do that.

Happy writing!

AG

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33 comments on “There’s Always Later!: A Tale of a Procrastinating Writer

  1. April Denton says:

    Epic, as always! I so look forward to every single post of yours. 😛

  2. Adeel Salman says:

    I was hoping to be the first one to like it but April beat me to it, ah well maybe next time 😀 … THIS IS AN EXCELLENT WRITE UP… you have an amazing ‘Chaucerian’ style when it comes to talking about the obvious which is mostly ignored by most consciously… LOVE IT… KEEP WRITING… you are way way better than most of the published crap that have a contract… KEEP GOING… love it

  3. Eh HA! Understand completely; I dedicate two hours everyday of the week for writing and 1hr-30mins of that time is spent procrastinating or falling asleep. I just assume whatever I am writing is not that interesting so I scrap it and move on to the next. Thus, leaving me with 47 unfinished writing projects, that brings me back to…… Why do I want to be a writer? I should be a comedian. Because this is so blooming hilarious! letbeyourangel.wordpress.com

  4. HAW! Great article. Thank you for sharing!

  5. hungrynovelist says:

    I liked “bee tee dubs.” Heh.

  6. Haha great post. I find that happens to me sometimes as well. It’s sad that no matter what I get on my computer to do, I almost always start typing “face…” into my bar. Sometimes, I stop myself and go to whatever I got on for first, but usually I’m like “Oh a few minutes won’t hurt.” An hour later…Ha. Oh well. The internet really can be useful for inspiration. I have found a few sites that usually inspire *something* which I’ll leave for you below.* But yes, most times it does distract. I came across a quote (by which I mean it was tweeted by @Quotes4Writers), I think is true and I’ve had occasion to repeat several times, including now: “Being a good writer is 3 percent talent, 97 percent not being distracted by the internet.” Anonymous

    *Post Secret: http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/303uyV/postsecret.blogspot.com (People share secrets which can inspire stories…and there’s that stumbleupon again)

    List Verse: http://listverse.com/ (Lists of at least 10 items on tons of topics. This does have the potential to turn into hours of reading lists that won’t do anything but distract you though).

    Camera Obscura’s Bridge-the-Gap: http://www.obscurajournal.com/bridge-the-gap.php (I have written a few stories based off the pictures in the gallery).

  7. Jane Isaac says:

    This is fabulous and all very true!

  8. It’s so hard to not be a procrastinator these days. There’s just too many electronic distractions!

  9. melynda says:

    So that’s were you have been! Thanks for stopping by and letting me know that you are alive and well. I was worried my friend. 🙂 The post I’m putting up tonight is a bit of a rant if you want to skip it I’ll understand. i was angry writing so if you do read it forgive me. lol

  10. minlit says:

    Yip. Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow!

  11. Corrie_Alexa says:

    This is totally my every Friday night while my husband and child are gone from the house…and most of my Friday afternoon while my boss is out of the office! The story of my life! Cracked me up. Thanks. 🙂

  12. Funny, funny, funny. I completely enjoy your writing style.

  13. Jan Simson says:

    Your posts are so awesome! I’m always looking forward to reading the next one! Keep up the great work! Cheers.

  14. Y.M. Schwartz says:

    Cleverly analogized! Looking forward to more Ciao for now!
    YMSchwartz

  15. chickymara says:

    So, while I found your article very well written and informative, I was looking for something more, something insightful on the art of procrastination. I have already mastered all of the techniques you outline herein. I do offer one more, however: pinterest. If you can’t get lost in there, then you’re a lost cause.

  16. danny says:

    Good juggling of ideas
    keep it up

  17. Elisa says:

    You ARE EPIC! LMAO! This one had me rolling–again–especially since I need to do laundry 🙂

    P. S. Your comment today made my day. I needed that; it’s been a long day over here and I’m usually so positive and happy, that’s saying something lol
    Thanks for rocking it like the 80’s.
    -E

  18. I do not relate to this post at all. In unrelated news, I am a fibber.

  19. Wow! Do you have me pegged or what!
    Seriously, I am supposed to be on the other laptop writing and just got on here for 5 minutes….well that was about an hour ago!

    Have an awesome weekend! I’m going! I swear!

  20. I’ll get to a comment later…..

  21. C.E. Schwilk says:

    Oh there are ALL sorts of things I should be doing other than trollin’ the interwebs. How dare you keep me from my scheduled procrastination?!?!

  22. fishducky says:

    Can I procrastinate later?? I’ll schedule that in for tomorrow. I’m too tired to do it now,

  23. jennifersmart says:

    hahaha.
    So, I’ll just read this post, a quick five minutes before I get on with my day….
    56 minutes later.

  24. Beth says:

    Lol, love it

  25. zencherry says:

    I blog hop, FB, Twitter, Linkedln, Triberr, Klout, text, bejewel, and ermm…write. I had not heard of this StumbleUpon thing of which you speak…I…ah…I’m screwed. 😉 Love your blog AG. Looove your blog! 😀

  26. beetenacity says:

    I always look forward to reading your posts…..

  27. xerardomendez says:

    When I was a child my father told me americans (maybe english, too) were all the time saying “spanish… mañana” . I think today I’ll do my siesta without repenting.

  28. tobyzwebsite says:

    Another Great Post, always enjoy reading

  29. Debra Kristi says:

    Love it! So VERY true. I just spent the entire day writing 3 blogs and setting up all the key points for my book, and look… it’s morning! Where did the night go? I forgot to sleep! Darn these blogs, twitter and facebook. But I will be turning you all off in a few. Toodle-oo ~ blowing kisses *

  30. hollyjb says:

    Oh my goodness. Seriously. I LOVE your blog! You photoshopped photos always make me actually laugh out loud. No jokes!

  31. Marcie Hill says:

    This is too cool. You’re view on these social sites are way on point and totally hilarious. I spend most of my time on Twitter. ***sigh***

  32. Bogdan G. says:

    Procrastination is one of those little guilty pleasures in life. I think it’s worse than smoking. Whether as smoking kills you, procrastination brings forth lies like “Don’t do *things* now. You can do them later and it’s all gonna be O.K. Do *other stuff* now. It’s much more fun!” which imprison you and set you up for a … FATE WORSE THAT DEATH!

    Well O.K. maybe I exaggerated a bit. Anyhow, my favourite ways for procrastinating are: Watching T.V. series (How I met your mother occupies much of my free time lately, trying to get up to date), stumbling of course has its place in my life, lemme see…ah yes, surfing Facebook and commenting on things, I’m not a Twitter person, Wikipedia has its appeal to me (some very nicely written articles there). Ah yes, and smoking. I procrastinate through smoking.

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