#12

Hi AG,

Thank you for submitting your play, It’s Nice That You Try, to the We Eat Dreams for Breakfast festival this year. We received SO many submissions, we had to barricade ourselves in the office for 36 months to sort through some really fantastic entries.

It was just a mountain of pages and words.
A mountain.

Selecting the final 6 scripts for production was madd difficult, but after many sleepless nights, a couple hundred break downs and some involuntary reenactments of Lord of the Flies, we have whittled that massive pile down by arbitrarily grabbing 6 and arrived at our final program.

The final plays are:

A Teardrop At the Edge of Two Days From Now by Mel-Anne Koli
When a man loses his umbrella on a subway, it’s really a metaphor for losing his soul to a giant cooperation, and also death.  Sadness abounds in this play.  Bring a tissue.  You’ll only need one, it’s not that sad.

Actors are Different from Normal Folk by Irmma Actoorre
A former famous actor has a present not as famous actor son and he doesn’t understand why he doesn’t act to get money and ruins his love and DAD LOVE ME DAD PLEASE LOVE ME!

Play with the Panda by Izzaz Badazit Zoundz
Street thugs snatch a cello as a an Upper West Side couple contemplates the future.

Word by Al Readie-Famous
This guy is famous so we’re just happy he sent in a play.  No really, it can be ten minutes of a man banging on an out of tune tambourine, reciting a list of salted meats alphabetically and backwards while flowers and butterscotch candies fall from the sky, we’re doing this play.
WERE DOING THIS PLAY.

An Emotion by Yuleneva B. Hapi
Life sux so I wrote a play about.

A Monologue of Epic Proportions by BA-BA-BA-BAM!
This is the tightest monologue ever written, all!  You are gonna be blown away by the one person talking for like TEN FULL MINUTES all about things!  And not only things, but different things! And a lot of them! There will be POLITICAL JOKES and SEXIST HUMOR and RACIST COMMENTS and then FIREWORKS!
THIS IS WHAT THEATRE IS!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.

$7 suggested donation at the door. 


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10 comments on “#12

  1. Eden Eastwick says:

    I cannot possibly narrow down which one of these plays is my favorite. But PLEASE tell me this was one of the actual descriptions: “Street thugs snatch a cello as a an Upper West Side couple contemplates the future.”

  2. Liz says:

    If this was really the lineup at a festival of plays I would SO be there.

  3. Love them all. Such a hard pick 🙂

  4. Kelly Gamble says:

    “By arbitrarily grabbing 6”-I wouldn’t doubt that. My favorite is A Teardrop At the Edge of Two Days From Now by Mel-Anne Koli. “Bring a tissue. You’ll only need one, it’s not that sad.”
    Again, you’ve made my day!

  5. melynda says:

    I’m giggling a little here. Please write a boring play AG. Maybe you’ll get in and then you can change the name of your blog and be super famous and it won'[t matter what you write. Sigh… I can’t wait.

  6. Thanks again for the usual great laugh. (You really do have such a brilliant mind). You do reflect the fact that a lot of theatre people are so far up their own backsides they can lick their own tonsils. Those play titles of yours sound about right too and you satirise them brilliantly.

  7. Crystal says:

    My favourite line from Regection #12? “…after many sleepless nights, a couple hundred break downs and some involuntary reenactments of Lord of the Flies…” I second Richard’s comment – you have a true gift for satire. Sigh… What are we gonna do when you become famous (as you so RIGHTLY deserve to be!!!) and you’re no longer getting regected??? Well, aside from attending your plays, that is…

  8. That’s pretty much every play festival, except for the one where the writer attempts to work out his relationship/sexual hang-ups on stage.

    I wrote that play. Several times.

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