#9

Hi AG,

Thank you for submitting your play, 2You-Nique4Us, to the Predictability Factory’s Tenth Bi-semi-annual Festival. We received about fifteen billion more submissions than last year, more than a huge made up number, and our panel of judges had a sordid time reading through some really dull entries.

Selecting the final 8 scripts for production was no easy task, but after many sleepless nights barricading ourselves in our offices for nine and a half months, eating nothing but vending machine food and wall ventilation and thousands of electronic paper-cuts, we have whittled that massive pile down and arrived at our final program:

The 8 final plays this year are:

* The Noun by Sam Guy
* The Verb by Sam Other-Guy
* I Can’t Believe This is a Real Title by Holly Crow
* Goldi-Lox and the Pimp by Gimme A. Breake
* This Play is About Death by I. M. Orbid
* A Buncha Words Strewn Together and a Metaphor by Belinda Crock
* The Other Noun by Faloofa Melody-Merryweather Smithe
* Part of a Song by  The Beatles Ringo Star Anonymous

Thank you so much for sending us your work and driving us all either blind or insane! Seriously, many of us had to be institutionalized. We read many many many many many many, many many many alot of somewhat worthy plays, and we hope that you will consider sparing us next year.

Best,

Levus A. Lone

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5 comments on “#9

  1. Isaac says:

    I like that you try. It takes a lot to send your work out at all. My favorite rejection said, “Remember: it only takes one yes!” I deleted that little bit of sunshine in a hot second.

  2. Crystal says:

    I LOVE the made-up names! Leavus A. Lone, Gimme A. Break… Bahahahaha!!!

    Keep on keepin’ on, my friend! 🙂

  3. Liz says:

    How do you come up with these names??

  4. Adeel Salman says:

    Briiliant…. i love the titles of the plays and names of the playwrights that have been selected… somehow reminds me of a lot of playwrights i know of …. THUMBS UP

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