#7

AG

RE: Your Play

Please read while ominous music plays.

Dear AG,

Thank you for submitting No Shot in Hell for consideration in Political Crap Week 2011.

While we think it’s rather amusing you would think we would select your play in this year’s program, we appreciated getting to know and vaguely register your voice.

 Political Crap Week serves as a way to introduce you agentless drivel to Politics R Controversial Cool! Play Company and it is rumored that writers at every stage of their writing careers are included in our PC Week, but mostly those that already have a name that people would recognize

You may find a list of the chosen plays and playwrights below.
You may regard them as gods.
We do.

We wish you a mediocre amount of success as you continue to cry in a corner and thank you again for killing some trees by sending your play to the Politics Get Us Press R Cool! Play Company.

Sincerely,

Annita Lay & Relli Badly

THE CHOSEN ONES:

1.Falling Under Water by Maya Reputation Pro. Ceeds-Me
When Jack meets Jill, he takes her up the hill, but there is no pail of water.  A deeply allegorical view of our economy, this play is sure to make no impact on the economy whatsoever!

2. The Past Was So Much Better Than the Present by Holly Smoke A. Bluunt
Miss the 70s?  We do, too! There was some real stuff going down and they had better drugs. This play is surely to pack a punch! And also, nostalgia!

3. Guns Cause Problems by Amy Pacifist
Guns are bad.  Don’t do guns.

4. Religion Causes Issues by William Mahr
Bob is a Jesuit priest and Esther is not.  Worlds collide, explosions happen, and the very rocks of one family’s foundation threaten to crumble as they travel to the Grand Canyon.

5. Put a Feather in It! by Usa Patriot
What happens when two football teams – The Cowboys and the Indians- get together for an epic match of epic proportions? Something predictable!

6. Internets: They Ain’t Just for Da Youngin No More by Simone Oldde
When technology and theater collide, funding often happens!

7. The Most Epic Play Ever Written by Zoe Poli-Tic
Nobody else should even bother, all! This play is so off the chain, we might get arrested for even thinking about doing it!  It’s just everything ever! And it’s all done with megaphones and ECHO EFFECT! N-N-Nudity! Ripping a picture of someone political IN HALF! BURNING THE AMERICAN FLAG LIVE ON STAGE, YA’ALL! EVERYONE IS GOING TO BE OFFENDED!

Please join us for a wine* and cheese reception.

*Wine donated by my mom from Trader Joe’s.

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10 comments on “#7

  1. I’d like some wine please.

  2. April Denton says:

    You are too freakin’ funny. I love it! 🙂

  3. Oh, I can’t believe you are this funny! And rejected – stupid people (said with a pout and downcast eyes). I will simply wait until your stuff has been recognized and attend your first play. Maybe a script should directly to Woody Allen. I’m just saying.

  4. Rejection slowly becomes a common theme with anything that involves decision makers (duh!). Jeep working fella!

  5. Liz says:

    Hmmmm I feel like I’ve worked with this company before… Also not going to name-names of course, but I will call them the “Demand Publicity Without Paying While Complaining About Everything Theater.”

  6. Elisa says:

    So . . . you are epic! I LOVE it :0)

  7. Crystal says:

    Oh, man… You really are good at writing humour. You will be recognized one day!

    Also, got your comment on Twitter. Here’s how you get the Liebster button. You go to my blog, you right-click on the Liebster Award picture. There should be an option to save the picture, so save it (I usually save it to my desktop, but, again, you should be able to save it anywhere on your computer, like My Documents or something). I presume WordPress has an option to add a picture to your post? Use that, and there should be an option for you to grab a picture from off your computer. You then grab the picture of the Liebster Award saved on your desktop (or wherever) and voila! That’s how I did it. Good luck! 🙂

  8. Steve Miller says:

    “Don’t do guns. Guns are bad.” Hilarious. I’m felling your pain. Keep up the good work, it’ll happen.

  9. Harnew says:

    Your humor inspires me to incorporate more of my personality in my writing. I love the creativity involved with creating names.

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