When life gives you rejections…

….spell ’em with a G.

Once upon a time, a lonG lonG time aGo
last Wednesday,
I spelled rejection correctly.  And it made me feel like crap.

Sure, I’d tell myself all the usual LIES  words of wisdom, like:

  • Ah well, that’s the way the ball bounces!
  • She’s just not that into you
  • Maybe next time
  • At least my voice is out there
  • If I started now, I could be out of scientist school by the time I’m 400
  • One day it’ll be my turn

Or, to sum up: Blahblahblah comfort blahblahblah reason blah.

I was sick of  rejections staring at me from my, otherwise, empty, desolate wasteland of an inbox.   Once you read them, they really serve no other purpose, just sit there rotting.  But at the same time there’s this unwillingness to delete them with the idea they should be kept in some sort of record, chronicling my life as a “playwright”.

But what am I going to do, wallpaper my bedroom with them?

In any case, after about the 50th, something snapped.

THAT DOES IT

I exclaimed to absolutely no one,

I’M GETTING A BLOG!

So after I asked my drunk friend extensive research on the matter, I decided upon wordpress.

I imagined I was speaking directly with the President of the WordPress Corp. in signing up.  His name is Bob and he looks like that:

Intimidating yet approachable.

This is how our conversation went:

Bob: Hello and thank you for choosing WordPress, how may I help you?

Me: Uh yeah, hello, I want to start a blog?

Bob:  Name?

Me: AG

Bob: No, I mean username.

Me: OH. Rejected_Writer, please

Bob:  Sorry, all usernames have to be lower case and smashed together so they look like poorly constructed run on sentences.

Me: Oh, of course…rejectedwriter?

Bob: I’m sorry, there is already somebody by that name.

Me: writerrejected?

Bob: No

Me: igetrejected

Bob: No

Me: aufher83894%^^* YWH HRRNHWwe

Bob: Please don’t do that with your elbow

Me: rejectionrejectioniamrejectedfromeverythingeverevenwordpressdotcom

Bob: No

This went on for about a half an hour.

I was about to say EXPLETIVE IT, throw my hands in the air and go back to watching dancing dogs on youtube.  Nothing was working and Bob was glancing at his watch and sighing.

That’s when the clouds parted and the birds chirped and other signs of an inspirational epiphany happened.

Embrace the rejection. Infuse a piece of myself inside the word.

SPELL  IT WITH A G!  I exclaimed, knocking a glass of water off Bob’s desk.

No need for the theatrics, Bob said, plugging it in

I’M A PLAYWRIGHT! I shouted

Please stop

I AM A PLAYWRIGHT AND A WRITER AND NONE OF THESE SILLY LETTERS CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE!

I felt like this:But better drawn.

My point is, I wound up teaching myself something in doing that.  I felt like Mister FREAKING Rogers.

Not that misspelling a couple of words is so revolutionary; but it’s what kept me from giving up.

And it feels awesome.

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12 comments on “When life gives you rejections…

  1. Bob looks exactly the way I pictured him!

  2. Marcie says:

    I commend you on not giving up. In fact, I have been looking for a partner who was strong enough for rejection as I going to really start submitting articles to different magazines. Glad we connected.

  3. Isis Rushdan says:

    This is great, lol! Until I got to the part about Mr. Rogers–errr. Growing up, I always thought he was kind of creepy and couldn’t watch him on tv.

    Never give up!

  4. Crystal says:

    Awesome! What a cool way to keep yourself going. Also? I gave you an award! Hop on over to my blog to claim it! 🙂

  5. Bren says:

    Very well written! hahaha I love it! I mean the blog, not what you had to go through getting the blog up and going. WP is kind of tedius with that. I found Blogspot to be much easier plus it’s all google-ishous! 🙂

    Never give up and follow your passion! New follower here and I look forward to reading more!

  6. Liz says:

    This is hilarious. I love Bob.
    Found you via Crystal Cheverie’s blog — another recipient of the Liebster Blog Award. You are too funny. Will be back!

  7. Adeel Salman says:

    as usual brilliant witty and funny… i think i am running out of words ere 🙂

  8. T says:

    Quality stuff. Looking forward to your next blog.

  9. Elisa says:

    I LOVE this! You are soooo awesome. There’s such a good moral to this :0)

  10. Harnew says:

    Ha! Thanks for providing the backstory to why you spell rejection with a G. I also love the the play on “WordPressident.”

  11. tanya says:

    Oh this post is TOO funny! Love the Bob character! Oh and I agree, rejection sucks!

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