Job Rejection #2

The Interview

Pleasant Lady: Hello, it’s just so nice to meet you A-

Me: I REALLY WANT THIS JOB

Pleasant Lady: …your resume…seemed so impressive

Me: I’m so sorry, I usually…I usually don’t drool in public like this.  I just really REALLY WANT THIS AWESOME JOB

Pleasant Lady: Um okay…well, enthusiasm is always apprec-

Me:  OH, OH, really?!  Really, ’cause, ’cause I can be really, really enthusiastic about this job, do you want me to start a blog about it, I can start a blog about it and facebook pages and pamphlets and and and I’ll dress up like a freakin mascot and stand on the sidewalk and hand out PAMPHLETS

Pleasant Lady:  Well, this job really isn’t-

Me: Oh yeah, I guess a mascot would be a little inappropriate, what if I stood outside with balloons tied to my armpits, holding a big sign that says THIS COMPANY, RIGHT HERE, KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING?!

Pleasant Disturbed Lady:… I am slightly frightened and am trying to tap the glass for help but am too pleasant to let you know

Me: MAKING JOKES AND LAUGHING AT THEM AHAHAHHAHAHAHAH RIGHT?! AM I RIGHT?! KNOW WHAT I”m….know what I’m saying?

Pleasant Lady: …

Me: …sooo you have a copy of my resume?

…..: We’ll be in touch

One Week Later….

Dear AG,

I am writing to inform you that the position has been filled by somebody who didn’t completely sabotage their interview.

Seriously, were you drunk?

It was very nice to meet you and I wish our paths never cross again, and that you get yourself some sedatives to make the very best of your summer.

Seriously, calm down.

Thanks so much for taking the time to meet with us.

Security has a photo.

Sincerely,

Yura N. Seine

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9 comments on “Job Rejection #2

  1. Saronai says:

    This one cracked both me and my husband up. Haven’t had this experience yet, but I did cry at an interview once >.> They asked me what my ideal working environment was and I started balling my eyes out. I felt like a stupid baby but I got the job >.> Turns out crying because you loved the family feel of your old student job so much makes you endearing to a company that prides itself on being like a family XD.

    I feel kinda guilty laughing at these though. Rejection just isn’t funny, but you do an awesome job making it laughable. Thanks for the smiles. When you finally start getting those acceptances, maybe you could take other people’s rejections and make them funny 😛

    • AG says:

      Thank you for your comment! Never feel guilty laughing at these – I’ve had some acceptance letters in my life – unfortunately there happen to be a little bit more in the rejection pile. But if we can’t laugh about it, when can we do?

  2. so ture. i hate job interviews!

  3. Hilarious and brilliant! I do believe I’ve been there myself. 🙂

  4. April Denton says:

    This is abso-freakin-lutely fantastic! Very well written and hilarious! 🙂 I ramble like an idiot and stutter too!

  5. Cherie Marks says:

    Now that’s too, too funny.

  6. AG says:

    Thanks, all! Thanks so much!

  7. Harnew says:

    With a ton of enthusiasm I want to say I am happy I found this blog and connected with you on Twitter. What do you use for your drawings?

    • AG says:

      Thanks so much for all the support, man! I’m glad we connected as well. I actually use Microsoft Paint for my drawings – it comes with every HP computer. Thanks again for everything!

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